


There is Something in Your Loving that Tears Down My Walls

by RedPensandGreenArrows



Category: Arrow - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Future Fic, Hurt/Comfort, slight language, slight spec. fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5413382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedPensandGreenArrows/pseuds/RedPensandGreenArrows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver’s secret is revealed and this is the fall out. With fears and insecurities on both sides, can Felicity and Oliver rebuild their trust and move on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	There is Something in Your Loving that Tears Down My Walls

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Holy cow, this fic was a beast! After 4x08 aired, I was listening to Adele’s 25 at work, and when Sweetest Devotion came on I immediately thought of Felicity and this plot bunny was born! This was my first attempt at a true angst story line. With that being said, I owe so much to dust2dust34 for all of her help and guidance. She was a great support and beta. Bre, you’re the best! I hope you all enjoy!

" _You have a son and you didn't tell me! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME!?"_

" _Felicity! She asked me not say anything, what was I supposed to do? I didn't have a choice!"_

" _Of course you did, Oliver. There is always a choice. And you thought the right one was to not only keep this secret from me, but TO LIE TO ME AS WELL!"_

" _And if I had decided to tell you about my son, what, you would have just welcomed the news with open arms?"_

" _Yes, Oliver, I would have. Sure, it would have been a shock, and taken some adjusting. But we would have worked through it._ Together _!"_

_"Oh really, because I'm pretty sure a couple weeks ago_ we _nearly ended because the thought of us being 'too lost' in each other scared you. What was going to happen if I just came out and 'Oh, Felicity, by the way, I'm a father.' You wouldn't have run?"_

_"That's not fair. Yes, I was scared for a moment, but I owned up to my rash thoughts. We grew stronger, Oliver. I wouldn't have run from this, from_ you _!"_

_"I… I don't believe you. I'm sorry, Felicity… I just don't."_

He had been pacing since she stormed up the stairs and slammed the door to their bedroom. An unsettling silence swept through the loft compared to the harsh arguing that had occurred not long before. Thinking back on the argument now, he didn't mean what he said. But with Barry's words still ringing in his ears, Oliver slipped into his old ways. Instead of talking, he threw his defenses up and lashed out. He hurt the one woman he swore he never would.

Nervousness steadily grew in the pit of his stomach as he continued to walk back and forth in front of the large windows showcasing Star City. His right thumb rhythmically rubbing against the tops of his fingers made Oliver pause when he realized what he was doing. The tick was back, and the realization depressed his mood further. Oliver wanted a second chance to talk with Felicity and do it properly this time. Explain why he made the choices he made and help her understand. It had absolutely nothing to do with her and everything he needed to accomplish in order to obtain his complete happy ending.

Lost deep in thought, Oliver never heard Felicity leave their room until the sound of heels and rolling wheels reached his ears. Whirling around to face her, Oliver froze – wide-eyed – as he took in the sight before him. Quiet, but clearly fighting back tears, Felicity stood, her hands fidgeting in front of her and a large suitcase resting by her right side.

Swallowing thickly, Oliver broke the silence, "You're leaving?"

"Yes." Her answer soft, yet firm.

"For how long?"

Her gazed flickered from his briefly before returning, "I don't know."

Nodding, Oliver's eyes slipped closed as he blocked out the pain ripping through his body.  _She just needs a few days_.

When he reopened his eyes, he noticed Felicity's head was bent as she fiddled with her hands. Then suddenly he was staring at her engagement ring, pinched between her thumb and forefinger. Staggering back as if he just took an arrow to the chest, Oliver lost the fight with his emotions and his eyes brimmed with tears. He backed away from the ring, and what she was offering him.

"Please.  _Please_ , don't do this, Felicity," he begged, near panicking, "Take a few days, or… or as long as you need. I'll leave you be and you can get in contact with me when you're ready. But  _please_  just let me explain. Don't give up just yet."

Felicity's outstretched arm sagged at his pleading. Drawing the ring back, she stared at the bright, shiny diamond for a moment longer before slowly moving to place the ring in her front jeans pocket. Oliver's eyes slammed shut once more as he fought the pain, and the tears. He did this; he fractured them. He just hoped that they could still be fixed.

" _Felicity_ ," he whispered, gritting his teeth, hating how broken he sounded. Clearing his throat quickly, he continued, "St-stay. You take the loft, I'll leave."

Rapidly shaking her head, Felicity backed up into her suitcase like she was ready to bolt. "I can't." The ' _There's too much of you'_  remained unspoken.

Grasping the handle of her luggage, Felicity marched to the front door without another word. Oliver's head fell forward to block out the image of her walking away from him. The sound alone would haunt him until they were fixed. If this mess could be fixed.

>>\------->

Felicity sat in her mini cooper and left the key unturned in the ignition. Gripping the steering wheel, a stuttered breath passed through her lips as she continued to fight the war with her emotions. Now was not the time to break down. She needed to put some distance between herself and Oliver first then she could let herself splinter. But until that space was there, she would stay strong.

Pulling out of the parking garage, her first thought was to head over to Laurel's. Thea was still staying with her, but she didn't mind crashing on the couch. Plus, some girl-time might just be what the doctor ordered. However, the closer she drove to Laurel's apartment, the more she realized that having a heart-to-heart with Laurel and Thea might not be the best idea. She didn't need stories from Laurel comparing her past relationship with Oliver to their current one. Because Oliver wasn't Ollie. Even if his secret keeping was reminiscent of his old ways, Oliver was no longer that childish boy. No, this was something deeper; a fear probably traced back to his years on the island.

Her next thought was to go bunk with her mother at the hotel she was staying, but tonight was her date with Captain Lance. And no matter what the outcome of their evening would be staying with her mother right now was definitely  _not_  an option. So, instead she headed west. She was sure John and Lyla wouldn't mind her staying the night.

Standing outside the Diggle's door for a few moments, Felicity finally bit the bullet and knocked. There was some shuffling then a pause before the door opened and revealed John on the other side. Felicity watched his shoulders slump as a deep sigh left him. Stepping back and opening the door wider, he gestured with his hand for her to enter.

"Come on in," he spoke, soft and kind.

Felicity walked right in, silent and stoic. She wasn't her normal, bubbly self. She wasn't even angry and using her loud voice. The Felicity that just entered his house worried John more than he cared to admit.

After Oliver's secret broke to the team, everyone was shocked to say the very least, but Felicity took the news the hardest because she had known he was keeping something from her. John hoped with every fiber in his being that he wouldn't see Felicity outside of his door tonight, but when he did he knew things were worse than he originally thought. His best friends – who happened to be completely in love with each other – were hurting deeply. And the fact that Felicity was here with a large suitcase and not speaking with Oliver made John nervous about both of their current mental states.

"Let me show you to the guest room."

"It will be just for a night or two, I promise I won't overstay my welcome."

Her voice was clear, but John noticed the slight tremble beneath the surface. "You can stay as long as you need to, Felicity. You're always welcome here."

"Thanks, Digg." She sniffed lightly, and John knew she'd want to be by herself soon.

"Why don't you get settled, and I'll make you a cup of tea."

Felicity nodded in response. Lining her bag up with the bottom of the bed, she flopped on top of the mattress and comforter, staring unseeingly out into the hallway. Lyla passed by the open door and offered her a small, sad smile before continuing to the kitchen to join to John. However, Felicity never noticed, too lost in her own thoughts.

The light murmuring from the kitchen made Felicity wonder how John and Lyla made it look so easy. Surely, they had their own arguments, but you never saw one of them coming over to the loft to get away. So, they  _must_  communicate with each other. Why couldn't she and Oliver do that? Why were they so complicated? Were they just that broken?

Sighing, Felicity's eyes fell shut as the ache in her chest began to crack the barriers she had around her grief. A few minutes later, John came back, tea in hand, and placed the cup on to the nightstand.

"Thank you," Felicity said with a small smile.

"Of course. If you need anything just let us know." With a final squeeze to her arm in comfort and support, John left the room and shut the door behind him.

The sound of the door clicking shut was the battering ram to Felicity's pain. Immediately her face crumbled and everything she had been holding back since her confrontation with Oliver came rushing to the surface. Rolling over to face away from the door, she curled up into a tight ball just as the first sob wrenched itself from her lips. This felt like the end. Felicity didn't even know to begin to fix everything. Oliver was the one who had lied to her multiple times, the one who didn't trust her. But she had  _let_  it happen, called it trust and told herself that he would come to her when he was ready. She had opened herself up and her greatest fears came true.

Tears poured down her face, and after a few moments the long day and her emotional overload exhausted her to sleep.

>>\------->

Felicity didn't know how long she had been asleep, but considering she still felt like crap, it must not have been long. Digg's muffled voice from the other side of the door woke her, but she didn't move.

"Oliver. I just wanted to let you know she's here…"

Felicity was actually surprised that John had called Oliver first.

"I just checked on her and she's asleep, but she looks like she's been through hell and back… Look, man. To not even go to  _Felicity_  with something as big as this, I have to believe you had some good reason not to and  _not_  that you were just being that stupid, but I haven't decided yet. I asked you to never hurt her, so you better fix this. If not, I promise you will find yourself a permanent cellmate with one Slade Wilson… Alright. I'll try and keep you posted, but if she wants space and you're willingly giving it to her, I'm not about to put myself in the middle… Yeah, good night."

A small smile briefly graced Felicity's lips. She was so lucky to have found a brother in John. But her thoughts soon strayed once more. Oliver was giving her the space she asked for. He truly did love her – the incessant reminder in her pocket continued to jab her in the hip – so why did he do it? She just didn't understand.

With the tears falling once more, she cried herself into a restless sleep.

>>\------->

The next time she woke was due to the sudden dip in the mattress next to her. Peeking through cracked eyelids, Felicity found her mother in a bright fuchsia number gently brushing away the hairs that had fallen in her face.

"Mom? What are you doing here?" she croaked in a sleepy voice.

"Because you're upset, and you need someone to talk to."

"I called her," John cut in as he leaned against the door jam.

"But your date with Lance…?"

Grasping her daughter's hand, Donna leaned forward until she could look Felicity directly in the eye. " _You_  are my first priority. Always. Plus, Quentin was very understanding. He was ready to go punch Oliver's teeth in, but I calmed him down. Told him you two needed to figure things out like the adults you are."

Felicity scoffed and rolled her eyes as she moved on to her back away from her mother. "Yeah, right. Like that's going to happen," she mumbled.

"Felicity Meghan Smoak, I do not like that tone coming from you. You're better than that."

Sighing, she let her head flop back in the direction of her mother and found John gone with the door closed once more. It was just the two of them.

"I might have agreed with you mom, before. Now…  _this_  happened and I'm not so sure."

"You don't believe that…"

"Mom, he  _lied_  to me. LIED.  _Right_  to my face, and I knew it, too. He didn't trust me,  _doesn't_  trust me, and now look where I am. Living my greatest nightmare."

The floodgates reopened and everything she had been holding inside came pouring out. Felicity was really grateful her mother showed up; she didn't realize how much she needed to talk to her.

"I know we talked about this already, but I  _swore_ to myself, long ago, I'd never get lost in a man because of reasons just like this. I saw…" Felicity swallowed, and glanced at her mother through watery eyes, her voice became a whisper, "I saw what it did to you, and I promised myself I would never feel that kind of pain."

Turning her eyes to the ceiling, Donna fought back her own tears. With a deep breath she began, "Now, I'm sure I don't have all the details of this story – and I'm not sure you do either –  _but_  saying Oliver doesn't trust you? Honey, I think that man trusts you completely and he would cut off his own arm to prove it. The love you two have is something I have never seen before. It's what I  _thought_  your father and I had. And as for not feeling that kind of pain? I'm sorry to tell you, sweetie, but that's the risk that comes with the reward of love. There's an unfortunate truth that we end up hurting the ones we love the most. And, baby girl, the love you have with that man of yours… is the kind that's written about soul mates."

Felicity huffed out a humorless laugh.

"You're right, mom. I do love him… Even now, I still love that stupid idiot so damn much. But what is love if he won't trust me? Won't even talk to me about something as huge as  _having a child_!"

"You're not wrong, but… what I'm trying to say is that Oliver is  _not_  your father, and  _you_  are definitely not me. Maybe, hopefully, the better parts of me… if I have any of those to impart. But you two will make it through this bump in the road, because unlike your father and me, you two are willing to communicate." Felicity's face darkened, her mouth opening to interrupt, and Donna's hand flew up to stop her. "Okay! Yes, Oliver chose not to communicate with you at the time, but something tells me that was because of fear and still processing the fact he was a father, not because he didn't trust you. That's why it is so important to talk  _now_. Sweetie, your father just up and left. Don't let something amazing slip through you fingers without even trying to fix it first."

By the end of her speech, Donna captured both of Felicity's hands in hers and rubbed her thumbs rhythmically across her daughter's fingers in comfort. She only paused when she felt an absence from Felicity's left ring finger.

"Sweetie, where's your engagement ring?"

Slipping one hand from her mother's, Felicity reached into her jeans pocket and tossed the ring on to the nightstand beside her. Glancing from the ring to her daughter, Donna was taken aback, and waited for an explanation.

Felicity shrugged, "I was so angry, still am angry, and the weighted reminder of how much Oliver supposedly loved me – how much I love him – clouded that anger and it just pissed me off even more. Plus, selfishly, I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me, so I took the ring off in front of him and tried to give it back. Guess it worked, because he refused to take it back, and begged me to take few days then we would talk… If I even want to talk about it."

"Oh, baby girl," Donna sighed, as she pulled Felicity into her arms, "Of course you two are going to talk and work things out. You'll see."

The two sat there in silence, Donna cocooning Felicity in her arms and rocking her back and forth, comforting her like only a mother can. Donna broke the embrace first.

"Listen, Felicity. It's late and you're already here, so why don't you spend tonight at the Diggle's, and then tomorrow we'll hang out, go downtown and hit some stores. We'll make it a "girls day" and then you can spend the night with me in the hotel. Maybe once you've cleared your head a bit, you'll feel better about talking with Oliver."

For probably the first time in her life, Felicity felt like a day out with her mother sounded perfect. She nodded in agreement and felt like she was already drifting back to sleep as she situated herself beneath the covers and her mother stood to leave.

Leaning down to kiss Felicity's forehead, Donna said goodbye. "Sleep well, baby girl. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, mom. And thank you."

"Of course."

With one final kiss Donna headed out of the room.

>>\------->

The day out with her mother, for the most part, had been a perfect distraction and something Felicity sorely needed. They first stopped at the salon Felicity frequented to get their hair done, because Donna Smoak believed that you could tackle anything with a good hair day. Then they hit the streets of downtown Star City and browsed through the local stores and boutiques. For lunch they stopped at one of Felicity's favorite cafés, which just happened to sit across from a large park. As they browsed through the menu, the sound of laughing children drew Felicity's attention across the street.

As she continued to stare, her eyes landed on a father and son pair, the former helping the little boy to swing on the swing set the were occupying. Felicity's thoughts drifted and she wondered how many times Oliver had taken William to the park, or if that was something he'd like to do. Was he as happy as this father was when he played with his son? The scene before her changed as a tall, pretty brunette came to stand beside the father. She wrapped her arm around his waist and kissed his cheek as he continued to push their child on the swing.

Felicity's vision began to blur as tears clouded her view. Was that what Oliver wanted? And did he believe he might have a chance at this pretty picture now that he found William and his mother? These thoughts made Felicity's stomach plummet, but she quickly dried her eyes as the waiter came to take their order.

After a quiet and rather tense lunch, Felicity asked if they could head back to the hotel. Donna placed an old black-and-white film on the television, but kept the volume low. Neither said a word, but Felicity was still grateful for her mother's presence. As the day drew to a close, those thoughts from lunch continued to swim in Felicity's head and the uncertainty she felt was killing her slowly. Coming to a decision, Felicity silently grabbed her phone off of the nightstand and unlocked it. Taking a deep breath, she opened up her messages and started a new one to Oliver.

_F: Are you available to talk tomorrow?_

His response was immediate.

_O: Yes. What time would you like to meet?_

Another piece of her heart cracked as she realized how desperate he must have been waiting for her to contact him.

_F: Can I come to the loft around 11am?_

_O: 11am is perfect._

_F: Ok, then. Goodnight._

_O: Goodnight, Felicity._

Felicity's heart ached, imagining just how Oliver would have voiced that  _'Felicity'_. This was probably the first chat she had with Oliver that felt robotic and cold. Not filled with 'x's or emojis, it felt impersonal and fake. This wasn't them, and she hoped beyond hope that they would be able to work through this and come out stronger on the other side. Tomorrow's talk was the starting point, until then only time would tell. Slipping under the covers, Felicity got comfortable and prayed for a goodnight's rest, she was sure she was going to need it.

>>\------->

Felicity was uncomfortable. She hated being uncomfortable. Standing outside of the door to the loft, she felt like a stranger in what is supposed to be her home. Waiting a few more seconds, she took a deep breath and steeled herself before knocking on the door instead of walking right in like she normally would. In the blink of an eye, the door was wrenched open and there stood Oliver. Bedhead, stubble a bit heavier, and slightly disheveled looking, he was still the most beautiful man she had ever known. However, it was the dark circles under his eyes that worried her the most.

Even though she was mad at him, she still worried. She loved him, and that's what made this all so much harder. But the circles under his eyes were some of the darkest she'd ever seen, possibly even darker than those the year after the Undertaking. She had only been gone for two nights; did he sleep at all?

Felicity shook her head and pushed those thoughts to the side for now. Accepting Oliver's gesture to come in, she silently entered their apartment and headed into the living room, taking a seat at the far end of the couch. Oliver copied her movements and took at seat at the other end. Both remained silent, neither quite knowing how to start. Glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, Felicity noticed his thumbs skating across the tips of his fingers. Her shoulders slumped, hating the fact his anxious tick had returned.

"Oliver -."

"Felicity -."

They spoke at the same time and immediately came to a halt.

Seizing the opportunity, Felicity quickly cleared her throat and jumped back in, "May I go first?"

Nodding his head, Oliver stared at Felicity like an eager, yet anxious puppy, waiting for any type of treat from her.

"Oliver, I came here today because… because we  _need_  to talk about this. About the fact that you have a son and chose not to tell me about it." She was doing well so far, remaining calm, and laying out her rules for how this talk was going to go. "I promised myself that I would come here, and listen to your story completely before deciding where to go from there. However… Oliver, this is where you need to tell me  _everything_. You're secret's no longer a secret, there's nothing left to hide, so you need to tell me the 100% truth from here on out. If you don't… I'm not sure we can come back from that. This is all I'm asking for, Oliver: the truth… Talk to me.  _Please._ "

Swallowing hard, Oliver nodded his head. The truth. He owed her that much. And wasn't that what he wanted anyway? A second chance to make her understand? Taking a deep breath, he braced his elbows on his knees, and willed his voice to remain steady. When he began, the whole thing just came tumbling out.

He started his story with how he cheated on Laurel and it resulted in getting the girl – Samantha – pregnant, but at the time he was told that she lost the baby. And while the idea of being a father scared him shitless, believing they had lost the baby hurt more than he thought it would. Fast-forwarding to their most recent trip to Central City, Oliver continued with how he and Barry had a run-in with William at Jitters, and when he noticed Samantha was the boy's mother a weird feeling entered the back of his mind. The story progressed, and Oliver recounted the rest of their time in Central City: the paternity test he supposedly had Barry run, the huge fight Felicity and he had, but don't remember because Barry altered the time line, Barry alerting Oliver to the timeline change and finally when he confronted Samantha a second time: the ultimatum she gave him.

When the story was complete, Oliver was breathing like he had just ran a marathon and waited for Felicity to say or do something. Body tense and buzzing with nervous energy, he trembled, preparing himself for when Felicity bolted from the room. He watched her face, seeing the all the cogs and wheels turning inside her mind, processing everything he had just told her. When her silence became too much, he continued talking.

"Felicity, please… You have to believe me. I wanted to tell you,  _desperately_ , since the moment I knew I had a son. But after Samantha gave me her final terms, what could I do?" His voice finally cracked as he pleaded with her to understand. "I didn't have any other choice."

"No, Oliver," Felicity finally broke her silence, her voice hollow, "That's where you're wrong. You  _did_  have a choice. Instead of talking to me, you chose not to  _trust_  me."

Oliver opened his mouth to respond, but only a pained choke came out.

"After everything we've been through together, Oliver, after our  _summer_  together with just  _us_ , I thought trust was the one thing we had in the bag. You said it time and time again: we're partners, Felicity.  _We're. Partners._  And I believed you."

Felicity whispered those final words, as if it pained her just thinking about what she allowed herself to accept as truth. Vision beginning to swim, Oliver felt his heart shattering inside his chest. If he didn't speak up now, he was going to lose her.

"I  _do_  trust you, Felicity," he finally choked out, "I trust you with  _my life_. You mean everything to me."

"Then WHY?" she shouted, her loud voice finally breaking out of it's cage, "Why didn't you trust me this time? Were you afraid? Help me understand, Oliver!"

Oliver flinched as she reamed him. The lashing of her tongue more excruciating than any other wound he ever received.

"Yes," he said quietly, tears freely streaming down his cheeks, "Yes, I was afraid. After… after Barry told me about our fight and you walking away… I know his details were vague because he didn't hear the whole argument, but I was terrified. When we got home and you made that little speech, all I could see… all I could see was you walking away from me. I would reveal I had a child and you would just… run. I would loose you for good, and that terrified me, because I can't imagine my life without you in it." Oliver's gaze held a far-off look like he was witnessing his fear right in front of his eyes. Snapping out of his trance, he continued, "On top of that, I had Samantha's 'rules' to follow, and Felicity, I  _want_  to be apart of my son's life. I want William to know his dad."

Felicity finally joined Oliver in his tears at the desperation she heard in his final statement. It was because of reasons like that Felicity Smoak absolutely loved Oliver Queen, but her insecurities from yesterday were still there.

"So, is that what you want?" She whispered, dreading his answer, "A life with William?"

"Yes," he confirmed just as softly, he eyes open and honest. "I want a life with my son in the picture. But I want to share that life with  _you_. There's no… Felicity, I have no life without you in it. I  _love_  you."

Falling apart at his words, Felicity sobbed into her hands, torn between relief and the pain that still lingered. Taking a moment to compose herself, she wiped away her tears before continuing.

"That's what… makes this so hard to understand. Because, I love you too, Oliver. And when I tell you I love you, I mean I love  _all_  of you: the good, bad, and the ugly. Over these passed 4 years, I've seen it all, and I  _still_  chose you. So, yes, a child is a surprise, especially one you thought had been lost, but this child is a part of  _you_. How can I  _not_  accept and love him?"

Oliver was in shock. He knew Felicity would smack him upside the head if she knew what he was thinking, but at times like these he still questioned what he had done to deserve someone as beautiful as Felicity Smoak. She had the ability to steal his breath away at every turn, and it was taking every once of control he possessed to not slide across the couch, pull her into his arms, and kiss her until she was breathless.

"The crux of the problem," Felicity continued, "Is that you chose not to talk to me about it at all. You even  _lied_  to me. Personally, I don't agree with Samantha's demands, but I am not William's mother and I haven't been raising him for the passed 9 years of his life. I have no say in those decisions. So, I can understand that being a conflict for you, but you could have at least _told_  me that it was something you couldn't discuss at the moment. Explained that what you discovered in Central City was more complicated than what you anticipated, and while you can't share it with me now, you will once you are able. I might not have liked it – you know I hate mysteries – but I would have  _trusted_  you."

Oliver ducked his head, silently berating himself for the mindless trouble he caused.

"Oliver, in Central City you told me that you would talk to me later about what was going on, and then we get home and you blow it off like it's over! No. You don't get to do that. How are we supposed to build a relationship, a  _life_ , together with those kind of secrets between us?"

Felicity was right. He handled it poorly, but at the time he didn't feel like he had those options. Fear controlled his emotions and he ended up pushing away the one person he needed the most.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, Oliver continued his apology, "Felicity… I am really sorry that I caused you this pain. The choice I made was to try and avoid all of this. Instead, I should have talked to you, but at the time I truly felt like I had no other options. Between fear and still coming to terms with being a father, I… I made a choice and I made the wrong one. I will forever regret that decision and spend the rest of our lives," he paused, glancing down at her still barren ring finger, "making that up to you."

They were pretty words, but Felicity needed to know that he absolutely could not do anything like this again.

"Oliver, during our summer away together, we talked and opened up to each other." Turning her gaze to his, she watched as he nodded in agreement. "I shared a lot about my childhood that I have never shared with any one else. And some of those stories were… were about my father, and my emotions involving his leaving. When your secret was revealed, Oliver, I felt like I was living the same nightmare my mother experienced. I thought you were pulling away. It felt like I was _losing_  you. That's why I ran two days ago, I was trying to protect myself."

Taking a break, she let the weight of her words sink in.

"During our night together in Nanda Parbat I told you that you opened up my heart, and I meant that. I normally only let people - even those I love - so deep into my heart, because if I let them in too deep, then I become vulnerable. After watching my mother get hurt time and time again, I swore I'd never let myself be that vulnerable with anyone… especially a man. Then you came along and broke through every. Single. Wall. I had placed around my heart. I allowed myself to love you and opened myself to that vulnerability. When I found out you lied to me that hurt…  _deeply_. So, if we are going to move forward from this, I need you to promise me that you won't do that again. Don't shut me out, don't lie to me. Promise. Me."

Her eyes bore into Oliver's, waiting for his reply.

"I promise." Firm, steady, and clear. Oliver willed Felicity to believe his words.

Watching him as he promised, Felicity saw the sincerity in his eyes and that he meant every word.

"Okay."

"… Okay?" Oliver parroted.

"Okay," Felicity repeated definitively.

Oliver practically collapsed as he breathed a sigh of relief. They might not be fully healed, but they were better. And better wasn't broken. A few minutes passed and they continued to sit on opposite ends of the couch, happy they talked things through and that their shoulders no longer felt so burdened. However, the longer they sat, Oliver became more and more agitated with the distance between them and finally breached the subject.

"Felicity…?" His question hung in the air between them as he held his hand out to her, hoping she'd return the gesture.

When Felicity turned and saw his waiting hand, she smiled gently and her eyes rose to his. Instead of offering her hand to him, she stood up from her seat and closed the gap, coming to rest in his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. Oliver reacted instantly, snaked his arms around her back and pulled her close. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he breathed in deeply and relaxed for the first time in days.

"I love you so much, Felicity," he spoke against her neck.

"I love you, too. Don't ever doubt it," Felicity replied before placing a kiss to the side of his head. "And just so you know," she whispered in his ear, "You wanting and making an effort to be a part of your son's life makes me love you more than I ever thought I could. I'm proud of you."

As Oliver tightened his arms around her body, Felicity felt a few tears drop onto the crease of her neck. Running her hands up the back of his neck, she began to gently massage his scalp in a soothing manner. It wasn't long until Oliver's body sagged against her and she knew he had fallen asleep. Letting him rest, she continued to run her fingers through his hair and simply relaxed in his arms.

At some point, Felicity had joined Oliver in his sleeping, and it wasn't until her cell phone pinged that she realized the sky outside had darkened and the two of them were still wrapped up in each other on the couch. Extracting her phone without waking Oliver as a tricky affair, but she managed it successfully. He did wake, however, just as she was sending a reply text to her mom saying she would be spending the night at the loft and would be by to pick up her things the following day.

Groaning as he lifted his head from her neck, Oliver took a moment to gather his bearings, and then turned to Felicity.

"Hi," he murmured.

"Hi," she whispered back.

"Are we okay?"

"Yeah," she reassured him while rubbing the back of his head, "We're okay. We should probably grab something quick to eat and then head to bed.

Nodding in agreement, Oliver slid Felicity off of his lap and rose from the couch to head to the kitchen. Pulling out his home-style mac 'n' cheese from the fridge, he quickly heated up two small portions, and the pair shared a quick meal at the breakfast bar before heading up to their room. Falling into their normal routine, it wasn't long before they both slipped into bed and Felicity was back in Oliver's arms once more.

>>\------->

When morning came, Oliver awoke to find Felicity sitting cross-legged next to his supine form.

Tilting his head to get a better look at her, he finally spoke. "Good morning... Whattcha doin'?"

Giving him a gentle smile, Felicity held up her right hand in front of his face, her engagement ring once more between her thumb and forefinger. Oliver's heart rate accelerated as his eyes darted between her and the ring. The panic he had felt two days ago was coming back with a vengeance. However, Felicity's smile only grew as she then held out her left hand, waiting for him to put the ring back on.

Oliver wasn't sure if he felt like crying tears of relief or joy, but none of that mattered because he was just thankful that he was getting a second chance. With the ring back where it belonged, Oliver sat up and pulled Felicity across his lap so she was straddling him. His hands rose to frame her face, and then he was kissing her like they had been separated from each other for years.

"Thank you," he breathed as his lips parted from hers, "For not giving up on me."

Her response was a gentle, but meaningful kiss.

Letting his eyes fall closed as he breathed deep the peace of the moment, Oliver opened them again to gaze up at his amazing fiancée. "So, what do we do now?"

Felicity rolled her eyes as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. With a look filled with pure love, she replied, "What we always do. Tackle this new day. Together."

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought of the story. It would mean a lot :-). Until next time!
> 
> -RedPens&GreenArrows (celticsparrow517 on tumblr)


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